The Cat's Not Fine
by Gonzotheanime
Summary: Stress takes it toll on Teanna, who suddenly becomes catlike and goes after Subaru. Modeled after the Tsubasa Cat arc of Bakemonogatari.


**This Cat's Not Fine**

_Bakemonogatari vs. Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS Crossover Fanfic_

**All Work and No Play**

The young members of Stars return to their dorm, battered and bruised, dirty and bloody.

"That was overkill," whined the blue-haired girl. "I don't care what they said about her

restrictions."

"I for once agree," spoke the red-headed teen, hoarse. She plopped onto the bottom bunk of

the bunk bed while the other lumped onto the seat at the desk.

"Nanoha needs to check Raising Heart before she lets it loose on the field. I thought I was

really gonna die!"

"Magic could only hurt you, they say. Well, they didn't say how much it's gonna hurt!"

"Eventually I'm going to get dinner. Want anything, Tia?"

She turned on the bed. "I'm not hungry."

"Your loss."

The two rested in silence of each other until Teanna spoke.

"Subaru?"

"Yea?"

"Why did you nag her on like that?"

"I didn't do it."

"Whatever."

When Subaru returned to the dorm room with dinner from the vending machine, Teanna was

fast asleep.

"Mou," she pouted. "Fast asleep and she hasn't ate. So reckless!" She sat in the chair and

propped her hands together and recited "Itadakimasu!" before dining on warm ramen.

Halfway through the cup she heard her teammate toss around on the bed. Subaru dimmed

the lights thinking she might wake up Teanna with them. As she resumed the last of the

ramen, she heard purring. She looked around the dorm room, but found no cat.

The purring, to her shock, was from Teanna. But she knows how strange Teanna could be.

"She must be in a dream about cats," she thought.

The purring stopped, and Subaru went to bed on that.

Two days of training later was the paperwork for the week. The countless screens gave the

center Lanster a migraine, so she went to the Medical Wing to cure it. But during lunch break,

however, it came back, more intense than before. She cringed up and held her head in pain.

"Tia!" shouted Subaru, rushing to the redhead's side.

The pain left as quickly as it came, to Teanna's surprise. "I'm fine now. I think I'm letting the

work get to me."

The Star's instructor, the famed Ace of the Bureau Nanoha Takamachi, noticed the situation

as she approached the girls. She addressed, "Teanna Lanster, are you alright?"

The cadets saluted. "Nothing to worry," spoke Teanna. "Just a short-lived headache."

The migraine returned once more, this time during a late device tuning session for both Stars

and Lightning, the latter being another team similar to Stars. Their leader, Nanoha's close

friend Fate Testarossa-Harlaown, arrived to the group with Section 6 mechanical designer

Shari Finieno.

"Nanoha is filling progress reports, so we'll go on without her." Shari made a game about the

order of the testing and tuning. Teanna was last.

The test went for a few minutes with no fail, until the migraine stopped her dead. She was

quickly sent to the Medical Wing once more, to Belkan Knight Shamal's care.

**Black Teanna And The Missing Takamachi**

The pain was longer than before and even worse as Teanna squirmed in the infirmary. The

scans have yet to determine what is the source, but it blared once it detected a strange

entity. This was within Lanster's body, and it's taking over her.

Shamal, with other medics, quickly scanned physically to find any sign. The strange darkening

of hair color was sighted, going from red to pitch black. Black cat ears then popped her

pigtails loose and protruded from her hair. Teanna fell silent and limp on the bed.

Shamal and other medical staff stood back at a safe distance. The body jerked in movement

as it sat up and stood up, while the face was staring to the floor. Lanster remained motionless

for a few seconds until it seemed that she disappeared and reappeared at the door behind

them.

She seemed to sport a mischievous face as she said "Sorry _nya_! Gotta run!" and dashed off

through the hall. This left even the experienced baffled and dazed.

"Nya?" asked Shamal, confused as well.

Subaru was rushing to another emergency altogether. Instructor Takamachi has gone

missing.

It was a perplexing case. Fate was there to inform Subaru when she reached a portion of

hallway with vending machines.

During their fine-tuning exercises, sometime before Teanna's incident, a fellow Bureau worker

saw Nanoha Takamachi with a handful of books. The guy turned to retrieve a soda he

bought, only to see the books as they landed on the floor. What was even more bizarre was

the footage from the nearby camera, which had her in one frame, and nothing the next.

"Maybe someone had a dimensional transport under her and took her," suggested Subaru.

"This is insane," remarked Fate. "And it left no magical signature, either."

The blue-haired forward shook in shock. "A freak accident?"

"I can't say. We should try to find her." Fate noticed Subaru becoming depressed. Nanoha is

her role model, and to find out she's gone into thin air is saddening. "You don't have to

involve yourself in this case if you don't wish to."

"I just need some time alone, before I can do anything."

Subaru found a bench outside on the grounds of TSAB. It's pretty dark to her, even with the

night lights on. There's also no one around, so she could cry to herself.

She then heard a light tap. The sound was awfully close, so she looks at the direction of the

source, and came face-to-face with a black-haired girl with cat ears, perched like a cat.

Subaru freaked for a bit and tumbled off the bench. She took a second glance of the face,

and the familiar training outfit the girl was wearing. It couldn't be...

"Tia?" she asked. "What happened to you?"

"I'm not Tia, _nya_," replied the cat girl.

The forward became unsteady. "What are you? What did you do to Tia?"

"Girl, I have not a single clue why you're so upset, _nya_."

"Nya?"

"You're not a cat, _nya_. I am!"

Subaru had to recollect herself. "OK, then, Cat. Why are you in Tia's body?"

"'Cause Tia's my Mistress, _nya_."

The girl became befuddled. "How?"

"I guess it can't be helped, _nya_. I was just a kitty when I first met this human. I think she

was 10, because she was really depressed from loosing her brother. She was really alone and

I was, too, so she took me in. She was a very kind girl _nya_."

_I wouldn't be surprised_, thought Subaru. _She could be very generous at times._

"I was playing with something very shiny and blue in the street when a truck hit me. The

human you call 'Tia' was completely upset and sad that I felt like wanting to stay with her. I

dunno why, human, but somehow some glow got me into this body. I decide to come out

when her body is too stressed to handle it by itself and relieve her from it."

"So you're like a safety release for Tia's stress?"

"Yes, _nya_!"

Subaru had an idea. She hoped it works.

"If you're some cat, do you smell and hear like a cat?"

"I guess so, _nya_."

"Listen, I have a problem to solve and this might help us. Our instructor has gone missing

and we need to find her. If you are to release Tia's stress by going rampant, we can channel

that to where we can find her and no one is gonna be troubled over you."

"I can't help but love your thinking, human."

"If you knew me, I'm not exactly human, cat."

"Not how Mistress Tia sees you, _nya_."

Subaru was slightly surprised. "Really?"

10 minutes of ground searching was strange, yet no Nanoha was sighted. The cat made

conversation to ease Subaru's tension.

"So, human, what is this human you call 'Nanoha' to you?"

"Someone I look up to. My teacher."

"Teacher, _nya_? Sounds important."

"She may be harsh, but it's for my sake as well as others."

"So you look up to her with admiration?"

"Yes."

The cat girl became silent.

The search continued to the roof of the Section 6 dormitory. They paused.

"I'm not a bloodhound, _nya_! In fact, I'm not a stupid dog, either!"

Subaru sighed. "It was worth a shot. I couldn't find our resident dog."

"You say you looked up to Nanoha, didn't you?"

"Yea."

"You know, I just happen to know someone who admires you, too, _nya_."

This was a surprise to her. "Who?"

"My Mistress."

The discovery came as a slight shock. "Tia admires me? I know we're partners, but I didn't

think she'd look up to me."

"I know my mistress more than you might think, since I'm one of the same as her. In fact,

she does more than admire you." She looked at Subaru dead on as the wind began to blow.

"She actually loves you."

Subaru was in complete awe. "She loves me?"

**Lovestruck and Lovesick**

"My mistress loves you,_nya_," said Black Teanna. "Hell, she's crazy for you."

"That's not likely. I groped her once and she kicked me."

"You must've caught her off guard. She must be one of those _seme_ types, _nya_."

_I thought I was_, Subaru thought.

"She can't help it, _nya_, but she's also envious of you, too."

"How?"

"You have a loving and supporting family, and she's all alone with no parents or family."

"It's not like mine's complete. I have no mother."

"So? Seems you have it pretty easy."

"Believe me, cat, if you really knew Tia, you know how it's not very easy."

"It's not so different in her case, _nya_. It's even more difficult trying to work the guts to admit

to loving you through that hard shell. Trying to admit to you was harder than any kind of

training she'll ever endure."

"And just how the hell am I supposed to believe that?"

"Cause that kind of pressure is what really released me _nya_! Don't you think that a lifetime of

intense training would ever create as much stress as a few months of lovesickness?" The cat

girl became vicious in tone. "Why don't you unclog that thick human head of yours and

imagine the kind of hell she endures being in love with you?"

Subaru closed her eyes for a moment to picture Teanna, standing in front of her, smiling like

before. The smile quickly faded into maddening tears and head clenching, with her collapsing

on her knees and screaming in agony, and the image ended with her pressing her Cross

Mirage to her temple, and trying to squeeze the trigger.

She opens quickly and glares at the cat girl inhabiting her best friend. "You're making it sound

like she's so unstable she would just kill herself so quickly."

"She has, on more than one occasion. Don't you remember in training academy the bruises

on her neck? That was an unsuccessful suicide attempt. And the several days of absence?

Overdose sent her to a hospital."

Those words struck a nerve in Subaru. She heard enough. "Teanna Lanster isn't suicidal!

She's my best friend! So who the hell are you to tell me what she is? You're just a cat stuck

in my friend's body doing whatever the hell you want with her, spewing lies and God knows

what! Give Tia back, you god-awful cat!"

The Black Teanna Lanster shook her head in disappointment. "Dense, _nya_. You're really

dense. If you'd actually declare love to her, none of this would've happened." She got close to

Subaru, eyes matching each others. "Sorry, _nya_."

The cat girl grabbed hold of Subaru's neck and squeezed tightly. "In order to relieve of

Mistress's stress, it's source has to be resolved. And I haven't done this in years."

"What?" spluttered Subaru.

"My first victim was a drill instructor who worked Mistress to the bone before becoming your

partner. He didn't die as pretty as you are right now. You're gonna die riding my Mistress's

dirty body straight to Heaven."

"This can't be what Tia wants!" choked the blue-haired girl. "She wouldn't wish for this."

"Just shut up and die, _nya_."

The cat girl held up Subaru until her feet dangled from the roof. Subaru thought it was very

unfortunate for Teanna to be so reckless of herself that she let a cat take over her. It would

seem this cat might cause more stress to Teanna, which may keep her like that for a long

time if Subaru is killed. Those thoughts sent tears to her eyes as she struggles with her last

breath to free herself and to try a rescue call via telepathy.

_Someone save me..._

Someone answered back. _I haven't heard that in the longest time..._

A pink flash knocked Subaru out of the Black Teanna's hands, and the cat girl a few feet

away. The blue-haired forward shook her head and darted her eyes to see where the flash

came from, and then quickly to locate the cat girl.

On top of Black Teanna, to Subaru's delight, was Nanoha Takamachi, poised with Raising

Heart ready.

"My, it didn't get detected by the security system. A Lost Logia in the form of a cat."

Subaru was confused. "A Lost Logia? Inside Teanna?"

"You laid dormant inside of Teanna for quite some time after that incident at the academy,"

she told Black Teanna. "Only to come out when Teanna's stress is overcoming. I figured that

was the case. I didn't plan on meeting you this soon, but now I can free Teanna of you."

"Just how,_nya_?" spluttered the cat girl.

A small pink ball of light fired off and struck the cat girl, knocking her out. A bind was quickly

formed. "Sorry, Subaru," she said to her shocked pupil. "She has to be immobilized and

unaware of her extraction. If all goes well, Teanna will recover in no time."

"But!" Subaru's mind couldn't piece together anything of before. "What happened to you?

You've disappeared right into thin air and we couldn't fine you."

Nanoha explained, "Fate-chan might be already told of this by now, but there was a

malfunction of those recent teleportation devices and that took me outside of the city. Shari

should be looking into that now."

"So it was a freak accident?"

"Yep. And I'm perfectly fine! And it happened that I was close by when I detected the cat and

your telepathic message."

A wave of relief swept Subaru into a teary hug in Nanoha's warm embrace. It took a while to

calm her down, but it was all the while she needed to appreciate her mentor's care.

"A cat?" asked Teanna in the infirmary.

"Yea," replied Subaru. "That cat happened to be a Lost Logia that fused with you and didn't

do anything until you're completely stressed out. Then it takes over and vents it out. And it

killed that drill instructor back at the academy."

"So that means I did it."

"No, Tia. That cat did it, not you."

"But it was in my body, reacting to my feelings and thoughts."

"That was just a reason to take over you and kill someone."

"And those bruises? I did them."

"No! Stop that!" Subaru grabbed both of Teanna's hands. "It wasn't you! It was a Lost Logia!

It was an out of control Lost Logia! You'd never do that to me! Ever!"

Teanna let a tear out of the corner of her eye while Subaru continued. "I know that inside you

there's feelings that meant we're more than just partners. And I know that despite what the

cat wants me to believe, you're madly in love."

Teanna should smack her and shout on Subaru's absurd logic, but she chose not to because

of the truth in those words. She couldn't bring herself to be tsundere about it, since it took a

lot of heart and emotion for Subaru to say: "You're not the only one insanely in love!"

She just couldn't let that outburst go to waste. It would be kinda shameful for her.

**The End**


End file.
